We have all had moment that come up in our everyday where we have reacted badly. Our buttons get pushed and and we over react to something said or done as if it was the worst possible thing that could have been done to us. Until something else comes along and becomes the worst thing ever done or said.
I have been the type to have emotional knee jerk reactions to what people do or say. Then eventually I calm down and get over it, or so I think. The truth is that the reaction I have is quite often above and beyond a reaction to that one event. Most of the time the reaction is based on echos of the past. Hurts that go deeper then the immediate circumstance, resurface and trigger all kinds of messages learned from other times in my life. My reaction to a co-worker's/spouse's/ friend's remark will stir familiar feelings of not being of value, not being approved of, being rejected and alone, or being unworthy of love and acceptance.
I am challenging myself to take these reactions to God. Praying to the Holy Spirit to reveal where these hurts stem from and offer them up to God to be finally and completely nailed to the cross Jesus died on.The Bible says Jesus died on the cross, bore our griefs and carried our sorrows. Why then am I still holding on to those hurts? He died to set me free so why do I continue to keep the things that make me enslaved to the past?
Is 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
Jesus wants me free to serve him and be fully his. I cannot continue where I am, with piles of hurts bogging me down, and serve him fully and wholeheartedly. Those weights that so easily beset me are those hurts. They keep me in fear and from stepping out in faith to serve the God I love with the passion and fervency that he requires.
His desire is to make me more like him. To be able to die to self and look upon the ones that caused the hurt and say "Father forgive them" with the love of Christ in my heart.