I was thinking about this after having a wave of loneliness wash over me. It's strange. I wasn't feeling that a few minutes before, but wham there it was.
I think our hearts ache sometimes because we know there is something missing, something not quite right, and it is always there in the background. We can interact with people daily. We can have wonderful friends and family, and still there is just something wrong.
I know that when I was saved I asked Jesus in my heart. He is there even when I don't feel his pressence. I will never loose him. It's just not possible.
When I go to church and feel his presence sometimes I feel like it's home. Where ever he is, is my home.
Maybe the loneliness is just homesickness. When I am in eternity I will have his complete loving presence always.
A few years back I was going through marriage trouble and at the same time my father was dying of cancer. Life was so overwhelming.
I remember asking God "why?" Why did I go through the things I did? Why was I such a sensitive person that things could hurt me so much.
I ended up having this dream. God showed me the house I grew up in. There was darkness all around. I was a child in the dream and Jesus was holding on to me. I was surrounded by his light.
But I could hear people in the darkness screaming and crying in torment, pain and lonliness. The darkness issolated them and kept them from seeing a way out. They had no hope of escaping it.
Then I heard the most heart wrenching cry underneath it all. It was heart shattering. Like a mother grieving over a child. I was so shaken from that cry. What a lonely sound of mourning and longing to be reunited with a lost love. I then realized that this cry was God's heart crying out for all those people in the darkness going through pain and horror in their lives.
I just dont know how to describe how deep and wide is the love of our God toward us but that gave me a small glimpse.
The answer to my question why was that there are more like me, that don't know the way. And I was never alone during the bad times. He was there. He was crying over me just like those other people. I just didn't know it yet.
Its not for me to question God why anymore. It's for me to take from that and follow God's heart.
The one that cries over his lost loves.
And someday we will no longer have to deal with loneliness again when he wipes away all our tears from our eyes. He will no longer cry again either.